Here with another running-related post. I have quite a few drafts related to running in the works, but today I want to talk about why I’m scared to sign up for a half marathon.
I have run a couple half marathons in my life and plenty of shorter races. I’m not scared to actually run the race or compete. I’m more afraid of comparing my training and actual race to past races and times. I don’t want to face the facts and see that I would be slower. I’m not saying I won’t train hard and there isn’t a possibility that I could actually do better. But it’s still something holding me back.
I think remembering my last half marathon as a success and a good milestone seems easier to me than doing another one, and potentially not doing as well. When I trained for my last half, I shared my experience along the way and trained very seriously. I had years and years of consistent running under my belt and numerous 8-10 mile runs a week for months in the books. I was in the best shape of my life.
I am not in my best running shape now. I think I’m still sort of good at running just because my body has gotten used to it after so many years. I’m just not consistent and not running 8 miles a day like it’s a piece of cake. I am scared to train and not do as well as I have in the past. I’m scared to “waste” 70 or 80 dollars on something I might not do amazing at.
I don’t want to focus on comparing my future race to a past race. I should focus on the training and enjoying the process. I should focus on getting closer and closer to a goal. I should focus on being consistent. I should want to do my best but also be happy that I even signed up and finished the race. That’s a whole lot better than wanting to do something and not doing it.
I guess the message of this post is to recognize what you are afraid of or worried about, but not let that stop you. Go after what you want and strive for your goals. After I post this, I’m going to decide what race I want to sign up for. It might not be a half marathon at first, but it’s a good start. Hopefully this post wasn’t too all over the place!