Something’s Missing 

It’s really weird when something you used to love becomes something you are the most afraid of; when something you did everyday becomes something you are missing. 

Running was my favorite thing in the world. It was something I could barely go a day without. I lived for the feeling after an amazing run. I lived for feeling like I was dying. I always wanted to be faster than the day before. Everyday was a race and it was what I looked forward to each day. Running has always moved around on my list of priorities. But it used to be up there with school and family/friends. Now it is something I am scared to do. 

I was in a new “running state” at the beginning of my summer in May. I was more than ready to tackle training for a big race. Or even just a fast 5k. I felt amazing after my time off post half marathon. I was ready to reach new goals. Then I was sick pretty much all summer. I would either be up all night trying to fall asleep or feeling horrible and tired all day. I guess those aren’t really excuses not to run. But for me those were enough. In a way I lost part of myself this summer and that is something I have just realized. Currently, I miss running more than anything. 

But the problem is I am scared to run again because I know it will be hard and I won’t be fast. I am not the kind of person to give up or not try. But running has been my life since I was like 10 and I have always been decent at it. It was never something I was scared to do. I kept getting better. And I was fast. I need to get over my fear and do it again. In a few months I’m sure I will be in way better running shape, but the thought of not excelling at it keeps me from running. 

I can’t wait until I’m blogging about my next training adventure, but until then I need to find the courage to run again. 

5 thoughts on “Something’s Missing ”

  1. running is really something you have to be consistent with. I’ve ran a half marathon too once and I was able to do it just fine. but then after, I took some time off. After my break, I got back into running, but the first mile I ran was harder than the half marathon. I wasn’t used to it. I had to build my speed and endurance back up. Even now, when I take a week off, it’s always hard to be just as fast and feel just as good. I can relate, but you got this Ellie. Can’t wait to hear more running stories:)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. let me know when you do because I’ve been slow on commenting and reading other people’s blogs nowadays


  2. You’ve got this! You won’t be EXACTLY where you were before, but you might surprise yourself! I can’t wait to read about your running adventures. Enjoy the process of rediscovering your old love! 🏃‍♀️❤️


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