Something’s Missing 

It’s really weird when something you used to love becomes something you are the most afraid of; when something you did everyday becomes something you are missing. 

Running was my favorite thing in the world. It was something I could barely go a day without. I lived for the feeling after an amazing run. I lived for feeling like I was dying. I always wanted to be faster than the day before. Everyday was a race and it was what I looked forward to each day. Running has always moved around on my list of priorities. But it used to be up there with school and family/friends. Now it is something I am scared to do. 

I was in a new “running state” at the beginning of my summer in May. I was more than ready to tackle training for a big race. Or even just a fast 5k. I felt amazing after my time off post half marathon. I was ready to reach new goals. Then I was sick pretty much all summer. I would either be up all night trying to fall asleep or feeling horrible and tired all day. I guess those aren’t really excuses not to run. But for me those were enough. In a way I lost part of myself this summer and that is something I have just realized. Currently, I miss running more than anything. 

But the problem is I am scared to run again because I know it will be hard and I won’t be fast. I am not the kind of person to give up or not try. But running has been my life since I was like 10 and I have always been decent at it. It was never something I was scared to do. I kept getting better. And I was fast. I need to get over my fear and do it again. In a few months I’m sure I will be in way better running shape, but the thought of not excelling at it keeps me from running. 

I can’t wait until I’m blogging about my next training adventure, but until then I need to find the courage to run again. 

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5 thoughts on “Something’s Missing 

  1. running is really something you have to be consistent with. I’ve ran a half marathon too once and I was able to do it just fine. but then after, I took some time off. After my break, I got back into running, but the first mile I ran was harder than the half marathon. I wasn’t used to it. I had to build my speed and endurance back up. Even now, when I take a week off, it’s always hard to be just as fast and feel just as good. I can relate, but you got this Ellie. Can’t wait to hear more running stories:)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve got this! You won’t be EXACTLY where you were before, but you might surprise yourself! I can’t wait to read about your running adventures. Enjoy the process of rediscovering your old love! 🏃‍♀️❤️

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